not just any action

cclairefoley:

“Any action in which a man ejaculates or otherwise deposits semen anywhere but in a woman’s vagina shall be interpreted and construed as an action against an unborn child.”

Senator Constance Johnson, D-OK, coolest lady in Congress right now,proposed a (parodic) bill making it illegal for men to ejaculate anywhere other than in the female sexual organs to protest against the crazypersonhood laws sweeping our legislative system.

This is funny because it’s from a scene in Legally Blonde.

Elle: For that matter, any masturbatory emissions, where the sperm is clearly not seeking an egg, could be termed reckless abandonment. 
Professor Callahan: You’ve just won your case.